Not Easy But Worth It: A Generation Hope Scholar Shares the Juggling Act of College and Parenting

If I was given a dime every time I heard one of my daughters call  “Mommy,” I am certain I would be a millionaire, but I would prefer getting extra sleep instead.  Being a mom of two girls is not just about dressing them in the cute matching outfits you see on social media. It is trying to go to the store, but you can’t because you are running after one to brush her hair while the other one wants to take her shoes and socks off.  Growing up watching my parents, they made it look so easy, but I never knew what it truly meant to raise a child, let alone two. 

I am a 24 year old mother of a 5-year-old named Layla and a 1-year-old (17 months to be exact) named Zia’Lydia. Layla is a leader, a singer, a risk-taker and a girl who loves water and her family. She is so free-spirited, caring, loving, smart, energetic but also sassy. Zia’Lydia has the personality of a teenage kid. She is so sweet, affectionate, but also sassy. Each day with them, I am never sure  what I am going to encounter, but  I love every single minute – even on the bad days.  I wouldn’t change it for the world. 

I am also a college student at Northern Virginia Community College (NVCC) and George Mason University, studying business administration.  NVCC has a partnership with George Mason called The ADVANCED Program, which allows you to be enrolled in both schools and work on your associates and bachelor’s degree at the same time while pairing you with a success coach, school resources, internships, and other activities related to your major.  

At first, it was just me and Layla. It was tough then, and it is still really tough. Being a single parent with no support is hard. At one point, I was working three jobs just to make sure I could provide for Layla. I was putting my dreams on hold to make sure she had a smile on her face every day. There were times that I would miss a meal or two to make sure she had extra food or enough diapers and wipes. I would go to bed crying because I still felt like I wasn’t doing enough and like my life was in a constant loop, never changing. I wanted Layla to see me doing something with my life, and I wanted that for myself as well. I deserved that. I also knew that getting my degree would allow me to spend more time with my baby girl and not have to work multiple jobs. 

I am a strong believer in God, and I would pray and ask him to please put opportunities in front of me that would allow me and my daughter to prosper and serve my full purpose in this world.  In early 2019, a friend told me about Generation Hope. I immediately applied to be a Scholar not knowing what to expect. I eventually found out that I was accepted into the program, and my whole world seemed to do a 180.  I was beyond excited even though I was still unsure how I could make college fit into my schedule. Still, I was determined to make it work.  I hung on to one job and started at NVCC in the fall.  

Pursuing my college degree also had an impact on Layla. When I would do my homework on my laptop, she would sit next to me and say she was doing “homework” as well by drawing or looking at a book. Even now,  she is always so excited to have “homework” so I keep drawing and tracing books on hand for her to work on. Through Generation Hope’s early childhood program, Next Generation Academy, she also has a tutor who helps her prepare for kindergarten since I can’t afford daycare or preschool. 

Being in school hasn’t been easy, and the pandemic has made it more difficult. During the 2020 school year, I was pregnant and COVID-19 had just started to unfold.  It was overwhelming because I was also working in the medical field, and my boss believed that it would be best for me not to work since I was at risk given my pregnancy. I tried to focus on schoolwork, but I was depressed, and I even thought about just giving up on school because I wasn’t seeing any progress. After I gave birth to Zia’Lydia, I reached out for help mentally and emotionally. Speaking to a counselor not only helped with my postpartum depression, but also with learning more about parenting.  Most importantly, I was reminded that times will get tough, and it might not feel like there is progress, but even small steps are progress.

I have learned that as a mother in college, self care is so important.  Yes, I have kids, but that doesn’t mean my only title is “mom.”  I think many parents tend to forget that we have to take care of our children, but we also have to take care of ourselves. That is probably one of the hardest things a mom in college can do; we can lose ourselves in motherhood and being a student.  It can feel like we don’t fit in anywhere.  We sometimes feel lost at home, disconnected from our peers at school, and unable to hang out with our friends. It’s hard, and it doesn’t get talked about enough, which is why so many student parents can feel depressed and stuck. 

I am still learning how to take care of myself, but I am getting better at it every day.  What keeps me motivated is seeing that being a student parent has impacted my children. They understand the concept of school and learning, and they enjoy doing their “homework” – even if it is something as simple as drawing right next to me as I complete my school assignments.  When it is time to go to sleep, even on a long stressful day, my girls still embrace me and tell me they love me.  That assures me that even with everything I am doing – whether I am great at it or not – they see Mommy as their super mom.  That keeps me going.

Josseline Cruz is a Scholar at Generation Hope. She attends Northern Virginia Community College (NVCC) and George Mason University.